Show more


🎶 If you don't expect too much from me 

Fuck the Mormon church and their billions of stolen money that they haven't used to help people. They are evil.

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours... 

Life is pretty okay right now. I thought you should know.

I had a dream last night that a friend I used to work with broke into my house to have a nice chat about my future career options.

His old home wasn't terrible, but it was old and the paint was starting to peel in spots which worried me. I've been looking for a new one for a long time but most of them that fit his needs are around $2k and that was a bit too steep.

Sam got his xmas present early...

His new home could easily fit his old one inside of it.

Amazon (yes, I order from them. I am an evil fucking asshole. Let's move on.) just emailed me to tell me that the package that was supposed to arrive yesterday (A new bigger cage for :sammy: Sam) is delayed due to bad weather but might still arrive yesterday...

It actually says "Your package can still arrive by Tuesday, December 10"

I don't think it can!

Step 1: Get out of bed
Step 2: Discard old coffee grounds
Step 3: Add new filter and grounds
Step 4: Turn on coffee maker
Step 5: Wait
Step 6: Pour cup of coffee
Step 7: Spit cold coffee all over the kitchen as you realize your mistake

Death mention (fish) 

This is dumb, but I'm curious... How do you feel about a person if you know they bought this product? Does it change your opinion of them?

Today was entirely filled with an attempt to recover from a massive fuck up. I think I managed it, just barely.

Show more
birb site

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!