@kemiki Yeah, I try to put most things behind a CW at this point too. I personally like seeing them even on things that don't bother me at all, just to act a subject and I'd rather err on the side of not upsetting someone. It just isn't possible to know what people have problems with because everyone's experiences are so different.

@minego @kemiki
I struggle with extreme mind-blindness associated with autism. I often fail at reasoning about what is appropriate. Interestingly, the "block your ass" framing bothers me a bit 😅 . I've experienced harsh forms of shaming bordering on harassment so the negative framing reminds me of it.

I've settled on defaulting my account to unlisted as a way to deal with it. I thought it was a good compromise vs CW'ing everything. Thought i'd recommend as an option.

@ultimape @kemiki My original toot was more about intentionally leaving off a CW. I'm not trying to complain about well intentioned people who fail or miss something.

@minego @kemiki Ah, I should have added: "and I think the shame-like framing is what's getting such a strong reaction from others".

I notice there is a lot of defensiveness in way people are responding. I'm quite mindful about it for myself so I wouldn't have said anything, but thought it was useful context for the idea of unlisted toots helping a bit.

Despite it, I very much value reading about this stuff - it helps me understand better where people are coming from.

@ultimape @kemiki Unlisted is a good alternative, and I am glad you responded

@minego I just realized that this was RT'd into my feed, so probably wouldn't have worked anyway.

You've got quite a few RTs on this. Seems like you've hit on a 'big mood' http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/big-mood

This would be my worst fears for my own toots in this space - a bunch of people RTing something because it's relatable, but unintentionally embedding something divisive.

I've been trying to use CWs as a 'playbow' to avoid that kind of heat.

good luck! 😱

@gdkar That is a very valid point too. That gearshift can be hard.

@minego yeah, or... idk. even just... i'm more likely to have positioned myself to absorb and process and react productively if iii know that's something iii should be doing, so having a cw can enhance effectiveness?

but, also, that's definitely not true for how everyone processes things. 🤷

@minego lmao *i can’t decide... what a bad place for a typo.

@gingerrroot I think the tone is the thing I take issue with, more than the method.

Intentionally bypassing the methods in place to help people deal with surviving on social media because the author has decided it is important rubs me the wrong way.

@minego yeah i definitely agree and hear you fully. i hadn’t thought of it in that way, but it’s important to phrase it like that tbh. so i appreciate you posting this and having this little discussion!!

@gingerrroot Thank you!

I actually really like the idea of pointing out how important a topic is, and getting someone's attention. It doesn't have to be an actual CW, but an intro that lets people know what it is about and how important you feel about it is wonderful.

Someone else pointed out that it can also act as a way to help people switch gears and prepare for a heavy topic.

@minego you’re quite welcome.

yes to all of this. it’s super good for switching your headspace, or giving you the choice to.

I saw someone earlier kind of do an intro toot (short, not too descriptive) and then CW their following toots on the same topic, which i think is a good way to go about some more important topics too, and aids in all of what has been mentioned.

@derJeff If you toot about things that should have them without using them then I might. If you intentionally choose not to use them when you know others want you to then I will for sure.

@minego but how do I know what's allowed and what isn't?

@derJeff Talk to people. Listen to people.

If someone asks you to add a CW when talking about a topic because it is difficult for them, listen. It isn't hard and doesn't cause you any harm.

It is easy. It is just basic respect of the feelings of others.

@minego but surely I can't speak to everyone. I could offend someone by saying "bubble gum".

My point is that nobody can know what is offensive to any one person at any time. There is no list of right or wrong things that can or cannot be said. In order to be absolutely sure that you don't offend anyone, either you cover *every* post with a CW or you don't post at all.

@derJeff My original point was about posting about things that you know for a fact will bother people.

No one expects you to know everything. Try to be considerate, and listen when someone complains. That is all anyone expects.

@minego that was extremely unclear in your original post. To me, it sounded like a generalisation. Your post seemed to be antagonistic and aggressive, especially with the language you used. It obviously "triggered" me and a few others into responding to it, with some being more upset than others. Surely you knew that that would happen. Should you not have covered it up with a CW?

Related: I find 90% of CWs to be absolutely worthless because people use them as a joke or similar.

@stevelord No. It is giving people the choice. It doesn't stop anyone from seeing things. It just gives them the option to see it or not.